


Dry Ice

by Avery_Kedavra



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Boyfriends, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dry Ice, Fluff, Good Deceit Sanders, Insecurity, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, and other materials of mass destruction, janus is a good boyfriend, just a smidge, of a sort, only a little angst, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avery_Kedavra/pseuds/Avery_Kedavra
Summary: Remus has a terrible idea. Which is nothing new. Janus tries to stop his boyfriend. Also nothing new.Then Janus says he loves him.Well. That's new.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 312





	Dry Ice

**Author's Note:**

> This is a quick oneshot cross-posted from my Tumblr. I got the prompt from @deceitnotyeet. This was a lot of fun to write. I don’t usually write this ship, so apologies if it seems out of character, and apologies for making it way longer than I expected. I tried to write a fluffy drabble and then feelings happened.
> 
> You can prompt me or say hi at my Tumblr, @averykedavra.
> 
> Warnings: some self-deprecation and insecurity, talk of explosions, mutilation, fire, and death (in a joking fashion, nothing serious.)

The moment Janus knew he was in trouble was the moment Remus opened his mouth and said “I have an idea.”

Janus pushed himself away from his desk and stood up. “I’ll get the fire extinguisher.”

“Hey!“ Remus protested. "You haven’t even heard the idea yet!”

“I don’t need to.” Janus folded his arms. “The last time you said that, we almost incinerated a preschool.”

“It’s not my fault crayons are so flammable!”

“They…really aren’t. I’m still not sure how you accomplished that.”

Remus gave a shrug and grinned wider.

“Whatever you’re planning to do,” Janus continued, “it’s probably dangerous, reckless, and illegal.”

“Well, duh, it wouldn’t be any fun otherwise!”

Janus sighed. “You’re not doing it.”

“Aww, come on!” Remus stuck out his bottom lip. “Pwease, JayJay? I promise nobody will get hurt!”

“What’s the idea, then?”

Remus bit his lip. “Blow up stuff with dry ice?”

Janus narrowed his eyes. “What.”

“I bought some last week!” Remus explained. “You can get some for like ten bucks on eBay, it’s awesome—”

“What.”

“‘Cause I saw this video where they exploded a huge iron crate with dry ice, like a dry ice bomb, and they said not to try it at home so I figured I could do it in a Walmart parking lot or something—”

“What?”

“And the dry ice arrived yesterday and I don’t have anything to do and can I please blow something up?”

“Remus,” Janus spluttered, “that’s incredibly illegal!”

“Not that illegal.” Remus ran his hand through his hair. “Anyway, you’re all about sticking it to the man, right?”

“I’d much rather put my time and effort into a systematic dismantling of the current governmental hierarchy than setting off dry ice bombs in a parking lot.”

“Party pooper,” Remus complained. “You don’t have to come or anything.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “I’m not letting you go alone and set off dry ice bombs in a parking lot!”

Remus grinned. “So you’re coming with?”

“No, I’m keeping you captive.” Janus grabbed Remus’ wrist. “You’re going to sit right here and I’m going to go get that dry ice and throw it out.”

“You can’t just throw out dry ice,” Remus pointed out. “Unless you want to destroy the trash can. Wait—hey, can we throw out the dry ice?”

“No!” Janus tried to stop himself from laughing. “I’ll Google how you get rid of dry ice. I’m sure there’s a safe way.”

“Google it, then.” Remus’ eyes sparkled. “Now.”

Janus pulled out his phone and Googled 'getting rid of dry ice.’ “Wait, there’s a WikiHow for this?”

“There’s a WikiHow for everything.”

“True.” Janus scrolled through the page. “Okay, so we just have to let it sublimate. Stick it in a warm room and let it evaporate for a few days.”

“A few days?” Remus looked around. “Where would we put it, the kitchen?”

“Why don’t you figure that out?” Janus snapped. “It’s not like I was the one who brought a packet of dry ice into our apartment.”

“Rude!” Remus smiled. “Hey, if we just explode it, we’ll be rid of it in seconds.”

“Yeah, along with our arms.”

“Who needs arms anyway?” Remus poked at his elbow. “Mine are always getting in the way. They’re nice and bendy, but I’ve always wanted to learn how to write with my toes. Losing my arms in an explosion could be a learning opportunity. Then again,” he added, flexing his nonexistent muscles, “depriving you of these lovely specimens would definitely be a crime.”

Janus tried to stifle his laughter. “So is exploding stuff in a parking lot, in case you didn’t know.”

“I won’t do it in a parking lot, then.” Remus clasped his hands together. “JayJay, please. Boyfriends are supposed to support each other!”

“Uh-uh. You’re on your own. You can go get yourself killed, and when you die, I’ll write you an obituary.” Janus flopped onto the couch and deftly flipped up his laptop. He began to type, reading aloud as he wrote.

“This is written in honor of Remus Prince, recently deceased. He, like the idiot he is, decided to explode dry ice in an unknown location. His brain got blown to itty-bitty pieces and he is now dead. He is survived by a twin brother, a beleaguered boyfriend, and the several rats who seem to regard him as their king.” Remus cackled. “His boyfriend, who is very handsome and intelligent and deserves better, seemed grieved by the news. ‘I loved him deeply,’ said the boyfriend, ‘but he has no braincells and this was bound to happen eventually. At least he won’t leave dishes in the sink unwashed anymore.’“

Remus collapsed onto the floor, roaring with laughter. Janus chuckled too. It was easy to make Remus laugh, but it still made him feel warm and snuggly and other things he would never admit to if his life depended on it.

"Flowers can be delivered to their apartment,” Janus concluded. “Please send corpse lilies, for the smell is quite similar to the deceased’s farts and reminds his boyfriend of the good times.”

“M-my farts are the good times?”

“All the times would be the good times if you were deceased,” Janus said. “Except for the time you tied spaghetti noodles to the ceiling fan. That would still be a bad time.”

Then Remus abruptly stopped laughing. Confused, Janus closed his laptop and peeked at his boyfriend. Remus was lying on the ground, a mess of curls around his head, eyes wide.

“What is it?” Janus asked.

Remus blinked a few times. “You said you love me.”

“I—what?” Janus mentally rewound their conversation. “I don’t think I—“

‘I loved him deeply,’ said the boyfriend.

“Oh,” Janus said weakly.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed.

“Well, I do,” Janus said. “You know that. We’ve been dating for a year, did you think I hated your guts?”

“No,” Remus said. “I just—you never said it before. Out loud.”

“I suppose I didn’t.” Janus frowned. “Didn’t you…realize? I thought you knew.”

“I knew,” Remus said unconvincingly.

Janus pursed his lips. “Really.”

“Yeah! I know you love me!” Remus shrugged, still on the floor. “I just…I dunno. Think too much sometimes.”

After a moment of hesitation, Janus slipped off the couch and lay on the floor next to his boyfriend. He rested his hand on Remus’, and after a moment, Remus took it.

“I’m sorry,” Janus mumbled.

“What?” Remus looked insulted. “Why?”

“Because…” Janus looked over at his demented, ludicrous, wonderful boyfriend. “Because if I’d known, I would have told you way before now.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Remus muttered. “I’m just being insecure and shit, don’t—“

“I don’t have to do anything,” Janus agreed. “But I want to. If you doubt that I love you, I want to prove you wrong.”

“You don’t—” Remus shifted on the carpet, avoiding Janus’ eyes. “I mean, you don’t have to—“

“Are you interfering with my life plans?” Janus teased. “Because we agreed we wouldn’t interfere with each other’s life plans.”

Remus chuckled a little bit, which Janus counted as a victory. “Yeah, but you still stop me from blowing shit up.”

“Because I love you,” Janus said. “And because I wouldn’t want you dead or in jail. Because I love you.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I get it, JayJay.”

“Do you?” Janus asked. “It’s come to my attention that, in fact, you don’t understand that I love you. So…”

“So?”

“I love you, Remus Prince.” Janus grasped Remus’ chin and pulled his face around until he was staring into his eyes. “I love the way you laugh at everything I say even when it’s not funny. I love the way you fall asleep on my shoulder when we watch weird animal documentaries together. I love how you helped me practice my debating skills by giving me random phrases to explain logically. Every part of you that you’re insecure about, that you think is weird or imperfect or stupid?” Janus ran his thumb under Remus’ eye. “I don’t love you in spite of those. I love you because of them. I love you so much, Remus, and I’m furious with myself for not letting you know sooner.”

And Remus, who knew every swear word in the English language, regularly walked around the apartment naked because it was “freeing,” and made more sexual innuendos than Janus thought humanly possible…Remus blushed. Deeply. He giggled and tried to hide his face in Janus’ chest, ears flaming red.

Janus immediately decided his life’s mission was to make Remus blush more often.

“I-I love you too,” Remus mumbled into Janus’ shirt.

Janus chuckled and placed a kiss on Remus’ head. “I already knew that. But thank you.”

Remus looked up, smiled, and kissed him.

It wasn’t how anyone would expect Remus to kiss, not heated or sloppy. Simple and sweet and thankful. Janus cupped Remus’ cheeks and kissed him back. It was a practiced motion. He knew Remus inside and out, he knew the exact way Remus tilted his head into the kiss, the exact texture of his hair and the exact place where his cheeks puckered with dimples. But it didn’t make it any less wonderful. It was safe and reliable and felt like home.

“Don’t you have work to do?” Remus asked when the kissing stopped, cuddled into Janus’ chest, their legs tangled on the floor.

“It can wait.” Janus smirked. “It’s come to my attention that a certain boyfriend of mine is planning to blow some dry ice up in a parking lot. As a concerned citizen, it’s my duty to stop him any way I can.”

Remus grinned. “How will you stop me, exactly?”

“You can’t go blow things up if you can’t move.” Janus pulled Remus closer, wrapping an arm around his back. “So I must keep you with me as my prisoner. For the sake of civilization.”

“Civilization’s the only reason you’re doing it?”

“Absolutely,” Janus agreed. “In fact, maybe we can get some pillows and have a matinee session. It wouldn’t be good for my prisoner to get bored.”

Remus laughed, his green eyes sparkling. “You’re a weakling, I could escape anytime.”

“But do you want to?” Janus asked, reaching out and running his hands through Remus’ hair.

Remus buried his face in Janus’ shoulder, mumbling something that sounded like “Cheating.”

Janus smiled softly.

“Love you too."


End file.
